Yes, he is pretty much this happy most of the time.  We have a great kid, y'all.  Love his sweet, joyful and loving personality so much!  Thankful for every minute with my little family and the opportunity to watch this little guy grow.  He is a delight!

We only pray that we are giving him all the love, adventures and {even} structure and discipline he needs to become the incredible person we believe he can be.    We know we don't have all the answers, but we're doing the best we can.  It is easy with a boy like John Reynolds! I think that Jason and I would both tell you that he teaches us far more than we teach him!  He is a world of fun and we love him so!

The Grace of Wonder

"Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder.  Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of your universe...Each day enrapture me with your marvelous things without number.  I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share in the wonder of it all." - Abraham Joshua Heschel

I may not have put pen to paper to write down the blessings of the last few days, but there have been plenty of them.  Numbered or not, I experienced them.  From pizza and a movie with my husband to quality time outside with my boys and time with friends, it was a wonderful weekend.  Not to mention great conversations with people and the promise of a great week ahead!  I find myself truly blessed, my vision much clearer and ready to see the blessings.  I am praying this week for the "grace of wonder," the eyes and ears to notice the "marvelous things without number" that surround me each day.  I think I'll pray that for you, too!

Asking No More

"I want to learn to live each moment and be grateful for what it brings, asking no more." - Gloria Gaither

I came across this thought today and felt a resounding "Yes!" rise up within me.  This is it.  This is what I long for in my life.  I have moments like this, but I want life to be like this.  I want to learn to let go.  Live more, stress less.  Love life instead of being overwhelmed by it.  I just finished texting my husband about this very thing.  I caught him off guard, questioning our (my?) proneness for feeling stressed and stretched much of the time.  I feel this need to relax more...but I can't seem to make myself do it enough to make a real difference in my demeanor, countenance and overall outlook on each day (life).  I fixate on how it "should" be instead of focusing on what is real.

And what is real is good, y'all.  I have two incredible blessings right inside my house.  Others that are scattered all over Arkansas and down in South Alabama.  Not to mention some that live right down the street and a few miles away.  And countless many others scattered across the United States and even around the world.  I am truly a blessed woman.  It is time I live that way more.  I experience it some, but it I long to feel it so much more in my life.  And this yearning in me...well, I know that it means it is possible.  There are people who live that way much more than I do.  It is an attainable goal, I believe.

After my random texts, the hubs got a little concerned and called me.  He listened and agreed.  He said he thought he could help me if I'd let him.  I think I will.

We have this running joke at our house.  I am always telling Jason that I "used to be uptight."  He laughs.  He laughs, y'all.  I tell him it is the truth.  He laughs some more.  Slightly irritated, I always feel the need to explain to him that while I might still be a little (a lot?) uptight, I am not near as much so as I used to be.  Those of you who have known me for a decade or two can attest to that.  Seminary (ironically?) helped with that a lot.  I became more myself during those years because I learned to let go a little.  It seems I have all but stopped the letting go and so I find myself stressed and stretched and entirely too serious and intense much of the time.

So...with my husband's help (and God's, of course), I'm going to learn to let go again.  Bear with me on this journey.  And be nice...it will take some time.

Living Free(er)

I would love to tell you that I am now at #200 in my journey to write down one thousand blessings.  But...well, not-so-much.  It seems I am terrible at actually writing things down.  There's been no lack of blessings, to be sure.  And I am most definitely more aware of the incredible blessings all around me.  Well...most of the time.

You see, I am human.  Very much so.  I falter...a lot.  Joy fades as I fail to take notice of the blessings all around me.  And when that joy fades, in walks bitterness, resentment and even a little rage.  I feel myself not being myself at all.  Filled with frustration, prone to despair, jaded.  I do not like what I see/hear/do.  I pull out the notebook and review.  So many blessings.  I grab a pen to write down more and...my memory fails.  I cannot recall the blessings at first.  I finally recall a few and write them down.

#72.  Watching John Reynolds make everyone smile. He is such a charmer, that one.  He lights up Target, Country's Barbecue and every place he enters.  So precious.

I write this one down and s-l-o-w-l-y my focus is shifted.  I smile a little.  The world seems a little lighter.  Life seems much less serious and stressful.

#75.  Jason getting gas for me late at night so I wouldn't have to in the morning.

This is just a microcosm of the myriad of things he does for me/us.  He is just incredible.  The answer to all my prayers and more.  He does this for me and I think first of my ungratefulness.  Do I thank him enough for all the little things he does to help, to make me happy and hold me together?  I am sure that I do not.  I am also sure that he did not go get me gas so I would feel guilty about that fact.  He did it because he loves me and wanted to do something for me.  And so I receive it.  This is hard for me, the receiving.  I don't deserve it...kinda like grace.

Aaaand....I'm back.  I get it.  Blessings and the counting of them will always bring me back to grace.  Back to gratitude.  Back to...living.

Suddenly, I can breathe again.  I am a little more alive and a lot more aware of what is taking place around me. Blessings.  Too many to name.  So what if I don't always write them down.  They are happening all the time.  If I am not writing them down, I will not feel guilty or let myself get dragged down into the pits called guilt, despair, bitterness and the like.  Ok, I might.  I am human.  I will falter.  I'll just try not to let it completely ruin my mood when I do.  I guess that brings me to another blessing.

#78.  Moments of clarity that lead to {a little more} freedom...and a lot more grace.

Written on My Heart

My days have been busy and, quite honestly, I have not written down many blessings as-of-late. I am ok with this, as I have still found myself much more aware of the blessings in my life. This is the ultimate goal, I believe. To cultivate a heart of gratitude in all things. And while not many have made it to paper the past few days, they are written on my heart.

Real Friends

I was a bit delinquent writing down the blessings this weekend.  It was definitely a blessed weekend full of friendship and sunshine and all sorts of goodness.  I was just too busy living it to sit down and write about it.  I consider that a blessing in itself.  I think I'll make that #53!  For now, let me just share this one:

#49.  A friend "hiding" Easter eggs for us after we missed the church egg hunt (by minutes!).  I was so defeated and sad we missed it (even though John Reynolds really didn't know or care!) and I think this friend could tell I was heartbroken.  While I was talking to his wife, he went and put out some eggs for his kid and mine to find.  That is friendship, people.  I was truly touched.

This little gift just reminded me how very blessed I am in the friendship department.  I have people far and near who love me so well.  And I am not easy to love, y'all!  I hope I am half the friend that all of my friends are to me.

Pip!

38.  Playing "Pip" with my friends.

I've been joining some friends to play "Pip" the last several Wednesdays. My friends are this 90+ year old couple (90 and 94, to be exact), both sharp as tacks a world of fun.  They have been married for 72 years, y'all.  That is a lot of years!  That means that she was just 18 when she married him.  I asked her once if she was scared then.  She said, "No.  Not at all.  We've both always just felt that home was wherever the other person was."  So sweet.  They are precious.  And most definitely an inspiration.  They are funny, too.  She says they play "Pip" because the other domino games are "too serious." I love the Wednesdays when I can join them to play.  Makes my day.